Thursday, March 1, 2007

Top 10 Reasons I like Peoria

Having just returned from Green Valley (South of Tucson), on a golf trip that was pretty lousy due to catching a bad cold from my roommate, attempting golf in 45 mph wind, and fighting delay after delay by the airlines-- I have concluded that even though our winters are miserable, I still like Peoria. Following are the top 10 reasons I like Peoria better than Southern Arizona:

10 -- Most Drive by shooters still speak English, increasing one's chances of ducking in time
9 -- White middle fingers are harder to detect in a white snowy background
8 -- Country Music around here means only this country
7 -- Golf Shots in the rough not likely to awaken Rattlers
6 -- Every 80 year old woman isn't looking for a man
5 -- Local radio doesn't have a golfcart traffic report on the 8's
4 -- Donut shops have cops instead of Border Patrol agents
3 -- Drivers in Peoria can at least See the Red Light even though they seldom stop at it.
2 -- No traffic Cops in Walgreens Parking Lot

And the Number 1 Reason I like Peoria over Southern Arizona or anwhere else --
WHY -- The Neighbors on Imperial Drive of Course (Well most of them)


Diane Vespa said...

Geez I've really wanted to comment on this post but its such a tough act to follow I'll just shut my mouth. Now that's a new one! Thank you, Paul, for insights that only youcan dream up.

Diane Vespa said...

didn't you used to write for Letterman?

John P. Vespa said...

Paul, about your yard maintenance... uh, maybe I can help you out a little. After all, that's what neighbors do! We see someone falling behind and we pick them up and help them along.