Sunday, April 1, 2007

Wanna know who your friends are?

First, wait for your sump-pump to fail and your basement to flood. This excercise will work best if the sump pump fails on a weekend. note...if you want to try this method without waiting for your sumppump to fail just unplug it and let nature take its course . Then, get out a large piece of paper and draw a "T" chart. In the left column put a plus, and in the right column put a minus. Now start calling everyone you know who can possibly help you. In the plus column, put the name of any friends or neighbors who round up fans, dehumidifiers and shop vacs. If someone offers to help you, I would suggest you make a special column on your "T" chart and label it ++. Secondly, call your insurance agent at home (since its a weekend). If he takes your call, gives you private cell phone numbers of carpet extraction professionals, and makes a phone call or two on your behalf, then place his name in the plus column. Although note that he should be moved to the minus column if he later turns down your claim. Next start calling the water remediation professionals. If they return your call, act like they care, and offer a plan, put them in your plus column. If they never take or even return your call, well, you can figure it out. Next, call your plumber or handyman. If he takes your call and shows up the same day to replace the defective sump-pump, put him in the plus column. If he later sends you a bill 4 times his normal charge, move him to the negative column. Choose a carpet extraction professional and keep your fingers crossed. If within a week you end up where you were before you started, put that name in the ++ column. If you end up doubling your dose of anxiety meds after you get the bill, move him to the negative column. You have now completed this excercise. Tally up the neg column and delete those individuals from your address book, or rolodex if you are using the same contact system you used in the 80's. Then tally up the plus column. These are your true friends. Make double sure they are on your Christmas list. Cultivate and nurture these relationships... they will be the ones visiting you in the nursing home. The ones in the ++ column, you could end up marrying!

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