Thursday, August 16, 2007

Relationship Advice - Cheap!

While waiting in line at Kroger's I usually ignore the headlines screaming out from the rows of tabloids. Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and the likes of them are silly, empty headed ninnies with a warped opinion of their own relevance as far as I'm concerned. But put a compelling story of Brad and Angelina on the cover and I'm buyin it! The reason for the fascination should be somewhat obvious...Brat Pitt is... well, Brad Pitt. And Angelina is so complex it is just downright fun to try to apply the Freudian theories one learned in High School to explain her behavior.

Last week, one of the tabloids reported that Brangelina is on the outs. They just can't seem to get it together. A hard concept to comprehend when you figure each of them has just about anything they could ever possibly need or want. So what could be eating at them? I've been giving their relationship a little thought, and just in case they read my blog, thought I'd pass along these little pearls. Hey, if it works out, I might start a column along the lines of the Ladies Home Journal's "Can this marriage be saved?" My emphasis though would be on Peoria couples, of course.

First off, Angelina needs to make up with her Dad. If she sees no benefit to herself, then she should do so in the pure interests of the children. Children should not be deprived of the wisdom and guidance that can be provided through loving grandparents. Holding on to her anger for his past transgressions would only mete out further harm and negative kharma upon herself and her family.

Secondly, she should put all further adoptions or biological children on hold until she comes to terms with whatever is eating at her 98 pound frame. My hunch is that she is overcome with guilt over breaking up the marriage of Brad and Jennifer. Her image in the world of a compassionate generous and influential humanitarian just doesn't jive with her stealing another woman's husband. Mother Theresa wouldn't have even thunk it! To preserve her image and to prove to the world that her first priority is to save it, I think she should separate from Brad, give Brad and Jennifer a chance to reconcile, and if neither takes the bait, then she can freely claim Brad.

Finally, Brad should do absolutely nothing other than work out, eat right, lay off the cigs, continue to look adorable and be a good Dad to his kids. Personally I don't think he has any flaws other than choosing emotionally unavailable women. Oh, and some of his past dates suggested he should bathe more often, but for Brad, that could be overlooked.


Jennifer said...

Hmmm.. I don't know, bathing is a deal breaker for me, even with Brad Pitt.
As far as Angelina and her dad go, I'm less quick to judge. I think very few people totally cut ties with a close family member like that without good reason. Some people bring more pain into your lives than good and shouldn't be around to influence children. (Of course, I may be biased because I speak from my unfortunate experiences with my Father-in-law, who is a big, mean, alchoholic jerk.)

reno said...

Angelina Jolie. Y'know, she's dated just about every lead person she's been in a movie with? Take the movie "Hackers" for instance. She was married to the guy.

I think she's bad news, and Armpitt was a fool to go after her.

Grandma's Attic said...

I must agree with Reno, here. He was a fool and she is bad news. He should have stuck with Jennifer and worked it out instead of jumping into the Angelina merry-go-round.