Monday, December 31, 2007

Allrighty then...

Another year bites the dust. What a transitional year this has been - back at work as a Realtor after a 5 and a half year hiatus as a stay-at-home Mom. It had been a tough decision, but looking back upon the year, I realize it was the right one. The Kids have learned so much, and the RE/MAX office is like a second home to them.

I like the idea of my Kids seeing me in a role as something other than their Mom. I like that my brain is slowly regenerating to the point where I can once again string a series of coherent thoughts together. I love that when I meet someone new I'm not immediately dismissed because as a Stay-at-home-Mom I must not have much to say. I love that I can have a real lunch of my very own and not have to finish what is left on the Kids plates. I love that I can go to the office where 4 people aren't fighting over the computer. I love knowing that predictably there will be time throughout my week when I can get to the gym.

Some things that I don't love: When my daughter says "But I want to be with YOU, Mommy". Or, when I dodge in to the grocery store in between appointments and see Mom's dressed in their sweats with their kids in tow. It's rough when I drive past the library and feel like that is really where I want to and should be. It's rough when on a Sunday the family is home, dinner is in the oven, and its time to get ready for an open house. It's rough when I sit contemplating a happy meal for their supper and then realize they just had that yesterday! And of course, its rough when one of them really needs a nap but they can't cause they have to go with Mommy on a 'pointment.

I have had the honor and privilege of staying home with my Kids for their first 5 + years. I now have the honor of working for the most professional and respected real estate firm in Peoria. I wouldn't give up either opportunity for the world. My experience in both regards has taught me that there is no legitimate discourse between working Moms and stay-at-home Moms. No matter what, guilt will be a frequent visitor in our lives. But I can say without a doubt, that at least in regards to the women in MY life, we all want the same things for our children.


Jennifer said...

I have been in your shoes, as both a stay-at-home mom and a working mother and I totally agree with you, I think everyone wamts what is best for their family, and especially their kids. I hate it when Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc, do those shows that pit SAHM's and
working (outside of the home) mothers against one another. It's so pointless and each side seems so defensive. It's crazy, too, when neither side is right or wrong.
All the women I know have had to make sacrifices no matter which option they've chosen and I think each has questioned her decision at times. But I don't think that means it was the wrong decision.
Good luck with juggling everything and don't feel guilty about the happy meal. I think we have to give ourselves a break and not feel guilty over the little stuff. (Like the constant laundry basket sitting in my living room full of socks waiting to be sorted, right now it seems it might never get done...)

Ms. PH said...

Diane - I loved your post. I did not have the option of being a stay at home mom (being the only income and all), but I struggle with the guilt of working full time and having my son in day care full time.

My brother opted to be a stay at home dad for the first 8 months of my nephew's life and I was a little jealous. But I saw it was very hard on him too.

Like Jennifer, I hate the media for pitting working and at home moms against each other. Most of my friends who are mothers (of either kind) don't care one way or another. I think we all envy each others' lives to a certain extent. However, we all find commonality simply dealing with the mothering of young children!