Saturday, December 29, 2007

Puleeze get hold of yourself!

Here is a secret. Dysfunction makes me squirm. I will run from it faster than if Chuckie was chasing me with a machete. I've had my fair share, but learned early in adulthood that the sooner you can kick dysfunction out of your life the better. Its called personal strength. Some women need to improve their skills in this department, especially if they are going through a divorce!

I'm sure you've all known at least one. They have a crazed, kind of hollow stare. They cannot eat, breathe or sleep without telling everyone they know how despicable their soon to be ex is. This is one instance where I gotta side with the fellas. The most you'll likely get out of them is a quiet mutter about something that rhymes with witch.

These women are so incessant that if you ever get stuck with one, you would rather tear your ears off with a pliers than continue to listen to her rants. As you dutifully respond with an "aw.. oh... ooh" and the appropriate gestures of sympathy, you realize that she does not give two hoots about anything you have to say. She is only planning the next damnation to come out of her mouth. Save your sanity and park her in front of a store mannequin.

One woman, an acquaintance, who purported to be my friend for purposes of having another outlet to vent her unbridled animosity, went so far as to accuse her husband of the most dastardly of acts against their child. I was devastated, as I knew the family and my heart ached for the child. It wasn't even a week later that I heard her talking on the phone about how the soon to be ex was taking the child on an out of town trip. I was incredulous. Now either she was just downright spinning the most vile of accusations, or she was an unfit mother. It had to be one of the two, and I don't think it was the latter. Her thinking had become so discombobulated that it didn't even occur to her that I would find those 2 claims impossible to reconcile.

So ladies, my advice, divorce sucks but it happens to the best of us. Suck it up and maintain your dignity. Don't drive your friends away, destroy the image of your children's Daddy, and leave an embarrassing and unforgettable impression to all around you of how you conduct yourself under pressure.

A small part of me worried about writing this post... thinking that perhaps a guilty party might read it and be offended. But then I thought, naaagh, a person caught up in this kind of drama is in so much denial of reality that they wouldn't even recognize it as themselves.


Katie said...

Amen! I could not agree with you more. You would really like to be there but at some point you have to save yourself. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, all they want is some one to speak at.

I had a friend that went through a nasty divorce last year. After weeks of marathon phone listening I had to quit answering the phone. It got to the point that it was effecting my life and what I needed to do for my family. And as much as I wanted to be there for her, I had to get away from it. I couldn't do anything to help and she wouldn't listen no matter how I tried.
(I just hope I didn't sound like that when I went through mine)

Diane Vespa said...

.. and you know the sad part is, Katie, we can get away from it-imagine what her poor kids must have gone through...

oh yeah, one more thing, I feel certain you did NOT sound like that when you went through yours! ;)