Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Somethings gotta give!

Today I was talking with a good friend about perception vs. reality. We all know women who seem to have it all.. clean homes, fulfilling jobs, loving marriages, smart kids. My younger friend was puzzled, scratching her head wondering how some women can seem to do it all with only 24 hours in the day.

To me, the answer is simple - they don't. It is all an illusion. Of course we put our best foot forward to our friends and neighbors, but behind the scenes... yikes!

Think about it.. there is 100% of you. That piece of pie has to be divied up in percentages. 25% job, 25% kids, 25% hubby, 25% house....or however you want to slice it. I used to think that each entity was entitled to 100% of me. That must have been the same year my ob/gyn suggested Lexapro.

Thankfully, I sensed that numbing myself was not the answer. Every woman has to understand her priorities. Do you want an amazingly clean and organized home, or do you want to help your kids with their homework? Do you want a few extra dollars in the bank, or do you want to serve your family delicious, healthy meals prepared at home 5 nights a week. It is simply impossible to do it all.

When we were in the process of the international adoption of our daughter, our social worker came to our house to do the home-study. I already had a little one at home, and hadn't really mastered the multi-tasking of butts and bottles yet. I repeatedly apologized for the messes as she walked through the house, until she uttered words that were music to my ears. "Diane, I worry more about the Moms whose homes are perfect than I do the ones that are messy". She knew the secret. Somethings gotta give. If you choose your family or your job over a perfectly maintained home, car and coiffe... there's nothing wrong with that.

3 comments: said...

Glad to hear it Diane. My house needs a house cleaner! I am the mom who decides to let the laundry really pile up and the shelves get dusty because a friend called and wanted to meet at McDonalds. I guess we just have to take it day by day when deciding our priorities! Great post!

Jennifer said...

I totally agree. In my rational mind that is! Yet, sometimes, emotionally, I feel tremendously guilty about all those aspects-that my hubby and I never seem to have date nights, that my house is a mess, that I should make more money, etc... (I guess those are my lexapro moments too!)

Billy Dennis said...

There's something a heck-of-a-lot warmer about a house that's messy than pristine clean.